“As the title suggests, this is a candid memoir. I’ve written about my truths and authentic outlooks throughout my experiences. They are real feelings and true thoughts …which are not always beautiful. With that being said, this memoir may not be suitable for those under the age of seventeen (it’s rated R).
Heather is undeniably blunt as she journeys through her past, struggling to understand a lingering encumbrance that followed her into adulthood. Prior to writing this memoir, she worked as a successful land specialist… connecting her clients to the beauty of dirt and leaves for nine years. She is a mother and a step-mother of two six-year-old girls. She and her family reside in a quaint community in central Wisconsin.
"Sometimes I was even my own crown of thorns. It's awful to feel like you are your own worst enemy. But even during the times when I've wanted to kick my own ass and have seethed myself for days, gratitude is usually what I'd use to feel better. It still is. I still screw up sometimes." Page 1 Gratitude
"It was cool to be mean, and you don't want to lose your status once you're cool, so I tried being cruel a few times myself, and it didn't feel good. It felt horrible. Looking back now, it's embarrassing to have ever acted mean." Page 6 Little Yellow Bus
"My cool friends were very proud of my weak act." Page 7 Little Yellow Bus
"But it was my own distorted self-deprecations that helped turn me into my own worst enemy." Page 16 Young Vindictive Felines
"Your worst enemy can't hurt you more than your own thoughts can." Page 16 Young Vindictive Felines
"I can clearly recall the times when I was cruel, and I feel awful to this day about them. I'm glad I realized that it only made me feel worse. I think cruelty is a cycle." Page 16 Young Vindictive Felines
"On the weekends I continue going to parties and drinking until I'm sick. I don't care that I make a fool out of myself, or if anyone is annoyed by my drunken behavior. I just keep doing it." Page 27 Blue Christmas
"Still, I felt ashamed of leaving the way I left. I was afraid he'd convince me to stay. I felt like a bird trapped in a cage and flying away without notice was the only way out. Fear, guilt, anxiety, and uncertainty filled the months ahead." Page 64 Wobbling
"The guilt pertaining to my daughter was awful, but I knew the transition would be easier at eighteen-months-old than it would be at four, six, twelve, or fifteen." Page 65 Wobbling
"By now I'm sure you discovered that I'm not a saint. Perhaps the swearing and sarcasm gave it away, and I'd be lying if I said I've never been involved in situations throughout my life where I've compromised my integrity, made bad choices, or have acted cruel, too." Page 188 Unscathed
"Most wrong-doings have been thoughtless or impulsive...where I've lacked consideration for those inflicted by my words or actions." Page 189 Unscathed
"I really do hope to become less of a sarcastic asshole moving forward." Page 193 Unscathed
"I could lie to you and start singing "We Are the World" but I'd hate to portray myself as nicer than I really am." Page 222 A Cackling Hen and a Screeching Vulture
"Cruelty affects people...and you might always be remembered for it." Page 246 Forthcoming
"These days I seek peace and balance." Page 258 And These Days
"These days of reading story books and wiggling loose teeth will someday linger far away in my memory like an imagined cloud of innocent laughter. If I don't pay attention, I will miss it. I am in this moment. These days I pay attention to my life." Page 259 And These Days